Alexander McQueen Skull Knit Jumper
my idea of wealth has changed. when i was little i’d dream about living in a giant mansion with like a tennis court and a bowling alley and an indoor swimming pool and all other sorts of sports things i’d never use. now when i fantasize i’m like, “maybe someday i’ll be able to rent a one bedroom apartment and live there alone.”
I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman.
There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.
Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.
If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.
Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions.
I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as “Dr.” — and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like “Excuse me!”) or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like “Good for you!”).
All married women’s surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband’s name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband’s identity. If she does not take her husband’s name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has “kept her own name.” A man is never said to have “kept his own name” because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked.
A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O’Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman’s multiple name stands out. It is marked. — Deborah Tannen, “Marked Women, Unmarked Men” (via harukimuracallme)
(Source: ohcoroner, via sparkamovement)
Ten-year-old Macy Friday, front left, reacts as she looks back at her family after meeting Hillary Clinton, front right, as she campaigns for U.S. Sen. Mark Udall, D-Colo., back, during a stop in the newly-renovated Union Station in Denver, Oct. 13, 2014. Clinton appeared at an event to raise money for Udall’s current re-election campaign and then headed to Las Vegas for another appearance on Monday night. (Photo: David Zalubowski/AP) See: This Week in Pictures.
Feminism as always been about liberating women from the patriarchy. It’s a revolution, it’s not about having the same rights that men have. I don’t want to have the same rights as they do, i don’t want to be able to rape without being put in jail, i don’t want to be the head of a big company that gain money by using slaves. i want to be liberated from a world that is ruled by men and make something new, something better.
(Source: darksilenceinsuburbia, via hallelu)
(Source: burnout-velvet, via travel-hymn)